Most people will only remodel a kitchen once in their life. It’s a completely foreign process to many, and one I’ve “midwifed” for years as a full-time kitchen and bath designer.

I’ve always likened kitchen remodeling to being pregnant, because many of my clients know all about what that experience is like. In my opinion, there are some striking similarities:

  • You know roughly how long the process will take, but rarely the exact date it will be over;
  • You’re best off not planning major events around either one, or Mr. Murphy and his infernal law will kick you in the butt;
  • You’ll be doing lots of planning, preparation and sheer fantasy about both;
  • You will be inviting exotic professionals and technicians into your life for both;
  • You have no idea of what complications (and unforeseen expenses) will arise during the process;
  • You know you’ll be uncomfortable and inconvenienced along the way, but not to what extent, or exactly what forms it will take;
  • You can – and should – prepare in advance, but can, and probably will, still experience surprises along the way;
  • You may experience strange cravings – pickles and ice cream vs. pickled finishes;
  • You’ll be buying a lot of surprising new gear for baby or kitchen;
  • You’ll be coming across names you never expected to cross your lips — be they Madison Marie or Madison Maple, Cambria countertops or Cambria Johnson;
  • Both invite ideas and horror stories from friends, family and complete strangers spotting baby bump or curbside dumpster;

Best of all…

  • At the end of a long, laborious process, you’ll have a beautiful new addition to your household.

By the way, please feel free to add your own comparisons in my comment section below!

These musings were inspired by the work I’m having done this week at Chez J, the three-story town home I bought late last year. I’m not working on the kitchen just yet – except for a flooring replacement – but the room where I spend the greatest amount of time here is my office and it’s getting new laminate flooring*, baseboards, desk, crown molding and paint this week. It already got new drapes, drapery hardware, area rug and ceiling fan since I moved in. I look forward to saying goodbye, ugly carpet. Good riddance, clutter of books on floor and computer on folding bridge table!

*Incidentally, I had planned on purchasing engineered wood, which I had and loved in my Florida home. When I came across a laminate at half the cost that looked exactly the same, I went for it!

Yes, I will post “after” pictures once it’s all done. Here are some before shots:

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